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Valentines Day Funny Facebook Status Updates!

Romeo...

1. says let's make February 15th OUR valentines day.
2. says there is someone for everyone but wasn't really thinking about you.
3. says don't worry... it's not contagious.
4. says, "you make me feel dead inside"... Happy Valentines Day
5. says on this Valentines days... Please don't make me choose between you and porn.
6. already killed some helpless flowers for you... what else do you want?
7. loves Valentines day, where nookie is only a box of chocolates away.
8. wants to remind you that nothing says "I love you" more than somebody else's words mass produced on re-cycled paper.
9. says nothing is more romantic than letting you know that I love you... via this Facebook Status update.
10. says, Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's Valentines Day, And I have a hangnail. 
11. Now a soft kiss – Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss.Happy Valentine Day.
12. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they’re gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won’t hear you anymore.Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
13. Roses are red, violets are blue,The first time I saw you, my heart knew it was true!Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
14. True love comes quietly,without banners or flashing lights.If you hear bells, get your ears checked.Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
15. I’ll love you, dear,I’ll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the
    mountain and the salmon sing in the street.Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
16. I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. 
17. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
18. Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.” – Catullus.Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
19. Our thoughts quickly turn in your direction.This Valentine poem is meant to show you
    How very glad we are to know you!Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
20. I’d rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.
21. U R like ASTHMA,U take my breath away. U R like DANDRUFF,cant get u out of my head & U R like my HEARTBEAT I cant live without u x Wishing u a very Happy Valentine Day.

Tags: Valentines Day Funny Facebook Status Updates,text,sms,facebookwall share,status,girlfriend wall,boyfriend wall,new collection,whatsapp messages.

 

Very Funny Facebook Status!

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- Management speak has never been more truthful.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Sounds like an army corporal’s introduction speech.

A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well.
The perfect reply for when your boss asks you to do something dumb (if you want to get fired)

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
- Unless your job is being a priest.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Paste this on someone’s comment when they say something idiotic or controversial!

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
- Know anybody who’s getting divorced in the near future? Let them know you’re thinking about them…

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
- Unless they’re really bad at their job, of course…

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
- If you ever see a green glowing tabby, steer clear of it.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Best friend, confidante, drug dealer.

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
- A lot of people on my friends list never go outside, so this won’t apply to them.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
- I hate it when you get what you wish for!

I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
- The only crime that is worse than being caught having sex with an animal. Just.

Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing
- The perfect answer to ‘OMG I’M GETTING MARRIED status updates’.

I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
- Get the oven on, we might as well try!

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
The old ones are the best!
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