25 Funny Facebook Status Ideas !

1. Dave feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
2. Katie used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
3. Dave is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... This could take a while...
4. Katie dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
5. Dave says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
6. Katie is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd
7. Dave is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.
8. Katie is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
9. Dave doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.
10. Katie ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
11. Dave is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
12. Katie thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
13. Dave before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!
14. Dave Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
15. Katie "Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."
16. Dave is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
17. Katie Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
18. Dave is normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
19. Katie is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute
20. Dave just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
21. Katie would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook.
22. Dave believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
23. Katie ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
24. Dave Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
25. Katie is Loading ████████████ 99%