Brighten the day of your friends by posting new facebook jokes every day. Jokes are for making every one laugh with you. Get the funniest facebook jokes of all times and share with friends on this platform. If you are in humorous mood then also make your friends smile by sharing funny facebook pranks with them. Here you will find the cool and unique facebook jokes status.
I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
Facebook, because time isn’t going to kill itself.
Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.
Is there a rehab for Facebook addiction?
Stealing other people’s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.
I had my DNA analyzed. It came back with four main components. Bacon, Chocolate, Coffee & Crazy.
I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, If I die next Tuesday.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.
Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots..
Bad decisions make good stories. No wonder people find me so entertaining..
I hate when my mind wont shut up when I’m trying to sleep..
If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
Dear smartphones, why can`t you charge yourself? Sincerely, you`re not so smart after all.
If you want to commit suicide, you should jump down from your ego to your IQ.
It used to be, “Can I have your number”? Now it’s, Do you have Facebook..
just found out that if you hold Ctrl and w for 10 seconds it turns your Facebook page from Blue to Red
I think all woman can agree that bigger is better. Nobody wants a small bank account
Tired of everyone talking about their feelings on Facebook lol..
You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet…
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…
One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.
Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
Laziness is my middle name.
Dear Ceiling Fan, If you could hold my weight, i would never be bored again. Sincerely, Bored.
Between Facebook texting, tweeting and email, I haven’t spoken a word in the last 3 years.
Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when UR beside them they stay connected but when you are away they search for new devices.
When you really want to slap someone, do it and say “mosquito.”
Your time, energy and love is precious make sure that it is not wasted and preciously invested when dating.
It’s just Facebook, I wish people would keep it real and stop frontin.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, i am afraid of widths.
You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
I wish I could google “things to eat in my “fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.
If people have a problem with u, always remember, it is THEIR problem..
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes..
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Vote Up Vote Down My Facebook wall is broken.
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Why can’t shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time?
It`s too late to apologize. The damage is done.
you`re sorry ? that`s cool. go write a book about it and let someone who actually cares read it.
Why does paper beat rock? if you hold a paper in front of your face and i throw a rock at it who wins?
If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.
My friend has just updated his status saying. Is balancing on the edge of a cliff.. So i poked him.
I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.
Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you..
thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside ..So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
It’s raining, It’s pouring. Facebook is boring. I’m bored to death, I’m going to bed, hopefully we’ll meet in the morning!
Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It`s not the term for the past. EX is short for EXpired..
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.
Why do you talk so fast?” “Why do you listen so slow?”
I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
Life is hard normally, but its harder if you are Stupid.
Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.
Never Say Neverrr, you just said it twice ?
Is your name Summer.? because you are as hot as hell.
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